The Great Gatsby Chapter II Parody
Enter Scene- Train Ride to New York City
Nick. Hey Tom, what are you reading?
Tom. Oh this, this is just my all time favorite book called How The Other Half Lives. It is about how bad these damn immigrants have it. I usually glance at the pages when I am very depressed, and it just lifts my spirits.
Nick. Fascinating, only because I don’t judge people.
Tom. Look at this, this train car is stopped for a minute. Hey, do you know how long it takes for a great man like me to make decisions?
Nick. What?
Tom. We’re getting off, I want you to meet my girl.
Nick. That was a quick decision. But, to see that other girl of yours, who Daisy does not know about, but will hear about later, and will not care, and will fall back into your arms, even though a person who craves her and wanted her for so long will try to take her from you.
Tom. Yes.
Nick. You didn’t need to hurt me, to get me out of that train.
Tom. Gave you Indian burns huh
Nick. Native American Burns please. I think when the Dutch Sailors saw this green breast of the new world. When they saw their dreams and hopes of the future on this land, They were not thinking that ignorant people like you would be calling the inhabitants who already had hopes and dreams by a politically incorrect name.
Tom. Crushing little people, Nick. That is my American Dream
Nick. Hey what are those eyes up there. They look like the eyes of God
Tom. No god for me, buddy boy. I believe in Darwinism, and survival of the fittest. And, everyone one knows that whites are stronger than any immigrant, okay.
Nick. Geesh, what is with you and this immigrant stuff?
Tom. I’m a flat character okay, so you best be cutting this out, before I sock you right in the kisser
Nick. So you are into that whole Scopes Monkey Trial thing huh.
Tom. What
Nick. I forgot, you don’t know about that, but Fitzgerald does.
Tom. Watch your step Nick; the nose of Doctor TJ Eckleburg is obstructing the sidewalk.
Nick. We walked up to a Garage. It was very bare. There I saw George B. Wilson. He was blond and spiritless, but he was also kind of handsome.
Tom. Hey why is it that whenever we meet someone you have to describe them in such detail.
Nick. Maybe, because all this already happened, and I am retelling the story to a audience
Tom. Are you sure that is all? You have no other reason for describing this man?
Nick. No, Cough I’m Homosexual, Cough Cough.
Tom. What
Nick. Nothing
Tom. Hello, Wilson, old man. How’s Business
Enter George
George. Can’t complain
Nick. You could
George. Okay than, My business just beats on. It almost resembles a boat against the current. I try to get ahead but I am borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Tom. Shut up George, everyone knows that a poor man has nothing to complain about
Nick. Hey, do you mind if I use that?
George. No not at all.
Nick. Thanks a lot man.
George. When are you going to sell me that car?
Tom. Next week; I’ve got my man working on it now.
George. Works pretty slow, don’t he?
Tom. No, he doesn’t. And, if you feel that way about it, maybe I’d better sell it somewhere else after all.
George. I don’t mean that. I just meant, uhh, shine your shoes sir.
Tom. That is what I thought you said. Yes, shine away, and brush all of these ashes off me while you are at it.
Enter Myrtle
Nick. Then I heard footsteps on a stairs, and in a moment a thickish figure of a woman…
Tom. Shut up!
George. What are you so dolled up about?
Myrtle. Get some chairs, you big buffoon.
George. I love you honey.
Myrtle. I love you too honey.
Tom. I need to see you. Get on the next train.
Myrtle. All right.
Tom. I’ll meet you by the news-stand on the lower level. Also, don’t forget to get in a different train car, the one for prostitutes.
George. I got the chairs. I went all the way down the spider web filled basement to get these two chairs. I almost broke my back trying to life these huge things.
Tom. Well, we’ll be on are way.
George. Do you still want the chairs?
Tom. No.
Tom and Nick exit.
Tom. It does her good to get away.
Nick. Why would anyone want to get away from all this?
Tom. Nice one Nick, very funny stuff.
Nick. But, doesn’t her husband object?
Tom. Wilson? He thinks she goes to see her sister in New York. He’s so dumb he doesn’t know he’s alive.
Nick. I guess someone who doesn’t know they are alive would never try to kill themselves.
Tom. I guess you’re right Nick. I guess you are right.
Nick. Lets get onto this train.
Myrtle. I want to get one of those dogs.
Tom. Whoa, not a “hello” or an “I love you honey”, just a demand.
Nick. That is not good sign for a healthy affair.
Myrtle. What kind are they?
Vendor. Just Mutts lady. What do you think this is the Zoo. I’m a poor guy selling dogs on the side of the road for Christ’s sake.
Nick. Tom! Are you sure you want to get a puppy out of wedlock? The press will murder you.
Tom. I’d like to get one of those police dogs; I don’t suppose you got that kind?
Vendor. Let me check my magical cardboard box. Nope. Just these here mutts. But I do have this Airedale.
Myrtle. I think it’s cute.
Vendor. Hey mister, your wife is annoying.
Tom. Wife, yeah wife. How much is the dog.
Vendor. That Dog? That dog is a purebred. That dog will cost you ten dollars.
Tom. I’ll give you nine dollars and ninety-nine cents.
Vendor. Okay Mister.
Tom. Here you go, ten bucks.
Vendor. Thanks for the business Mister.
Tom. I’m waiting for my change.
Vendor. I don’t got any change. I stole these dogs.
Myrtle. Is it a boy or a girl?
Vendor. Seriously lady. I mean do some investigating. Don’t expect for people to hand things over to you easily just because you think you hit the big time. I mean all you are doing is having an affair with a rich guy. You are not better than me.
Myrtle. I wasn’t listening.
Vendor. It’s a boy, lady.
Tom. It’s a bitch. Great two Bitches. Not counting you Nick. I crack myself up sometimes.
Myrtle. Lets go to the apartment.
Nick. The apartment was on the top floor-
Tom. Don’t even think about it Nick.
Enter Tom, Nick, Myrtle, the McKees, and Catherine.
Nick. I am drunk. Uh Hello everyone. Let me see if I know what is going on. Okay. Here we go. Mr. Mckee is acting very strangely. Umm. Daisy is a Catholic, that is new. Lets see, Myrtle wants to buy a lot of stuff. What else? Um Tom is acting like Tom. Hmmm. Catherine is very odd. I think I covered it, until…
Myrtle. Hey, you know who I wish would get run over by a car?
Catherine. Who?
Myrtle. Daisy.
Tom. Hey, you don’t say her name in vain.
Myrtle. Daisy?
Tom. Don’t say her name.
Myrtle. Daisy! Daisy!. Daisy! I’ll say it whenever I want to! Daisy! Dai-
Tom. I’ll break your face!
Myrtle. My nose! My beautiful nose! My nose that is more beautiful than Daisy’s.
Catherine. Do you have anything to stop the blood?
Tom. Here are some towels.
Catherine. We’re all out of towels. They’re all bloody.
Tom. Myrtle, honey. You are going to have to put this money in your nose to stop the bleeding.
Myrtle. Okay.
Tom. That’s it sweetcakes, when we are all done I am going to buy you a Coney island and a knee high.
Nick. What is going on in there.
Mr. Mckee. I do not know. So, a do you have a girlfriend.
Nick. There is this girl. But, she is a female golfer. I mean women’s golf, even TJ Eckleburg doesn’t watch that. Also, she is fit and has a short haircut, if you catch my drift.
Mr. Mckee. I catch it, but who is TJ Eckleburg?
Nick. Oh it’s just a symbol, you don’t need to know anything about that
Mr. McKee. GOD NO!
Nick. Lets get out of here.
Mr. Mckee. Okay
Later.
Mr. McKee. Hey we should do this again sometime.
Nick. I don’t think so. I have to go. Besides, there is this neighbor.
I made this comedic parody on chapter two, because I found chapter two to be the most ridiculous. My inspiration was that I enjoy writing comedy, and I based this whole thing off of one joke that I thought of that is about the great Gatsby. I felt I could portray the characters well in a comedic form. Also, I thought good make this a better parody if I used a skit with characters talking back and forth, instead of just narration. I mainly used the book to guide me in this parody, but I also researched some issues and incorporated them in this parody, such as, the scopes monkey trial. I empemsized scenes that could just easily pass the average reader buy, like Tom buying a puppy or Nick leaving the party with Mr. McKee. I also poked fun at symbols, such as, Doctor TJ Eckleburg buy having Tom and Nick walk over the rest of the billboard on the sidewalk , and also, by having Mr. McKee not understanding what the symbol is, because it only effects the characters who let it effect them.
Remington Law
